I feel so numb. Can it be Saturday please? So while he’s out having the time of his life, I can pretend to be happy and drink myself into a coma in Orlando.

the real version of the little mermaid (so much more depressing than disney) but i love it so much

i. love. this. picture.

When I was 16, I tried to commit suicide by cutting my legs open to sever my femoral artery. Hardly anyone knows or remembers this. But anytime I see or hear anything mildly related to my situation it takes me right back to that time. It’s been 6 almost 7 years. Logically after years of therapy and being happy, you figure you’d get over it and not burst into tears watching a movie about it. Still happens. I know ill be fine in the morning, but maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe if I deal with it like I am now, maybe ill be okay later. Or maybe its one of those things that are meant to stay with you no matter what. Like I’m just broken all the time. No one knows. It’s not something you tell anyone. Even dating someone for 3 years, you can’t tell him. Scared they won’t understand and think you’re some kind of unstable psychopath. Or they’ll just cut you out and stop talking to you because normal people don’t do that kind of thing. But deep down its such a big part of you still. I still have scars, I still think about it too much. No therapy could have prepared me 6 years later. It’s like I wish I could go back and tell myself how its going to affect you, even when you’re 22. Why is life so hard?

LMAO! this is me…